Rantings of a Pervert

I don’t quite understand it, I really don’t, but I really enjoy putting on the strap-on  and screwing my wife with it!  It doesn’t really make sense as I don’t get any real stimulation to speak of, but it sure is a great feeling to perform the act on her and especially so since it doesn’t go soft and the only limitation is my ability to keep pumping.

What is really nice is her telling me that she wants me to use it on her.  She has been so prudish and uninterested in sex over the years that to know that she actually enjoys something and misses it is a major step forward, at least in my mind.

It makes for a very enjoyable encounter when I can eat her then fuck her as well, and an encounter I am looking forward to repeating soon!

More later::The Perv

It’s June now, the days just keep marching by relentlessly.  I know I don’t post here very regularly, maybe that is a reflection of how active my sex life is.  Nothing going on, nothing to write about.

We’ve been having our share of problems, and I  have talked to professional counselors about it.  Well, technically not professional, but I have talked about it in chat rooms.  The best advice I could get was to seek counseling.  Since my wife has access to counseling and I don’t, she went by herself.

She really seemed a bit hesitant to tell me what the counselor told her, and probably she was because evidently he told her the same thing I have been telling her for many MANY years!  She is supposed to go back, but I don’t know if she will.  Of course I don’t believe we have had anything resembling sex since that encounter with the counselor she had, so that may be a sign of things to come.

More later –

The Perv

Sweetheart, as we lay together talking in bed, something struck me that didn’t become clear until much later that day. A question, one that I don’t know if you have given any thought to in a long time. The question is, “While you tell me that you love me, what is it about me that you love?”

Years ago, early in our marriage, the answer seemed obvious to me. We completed each other, we had fun together and were best friends. What is it that keeps us together now? Is it love, or just fear of change and being alone? I am beginning to think it is the latter more than the former.

Something that I have come to notice over the past year or so is that you are constantly talking about what someone or another said at work, and such. You have friends at work that you talk to and share with. For whatever reason, that is something I don’t have. I have no friends, no one to talk to, or pal around with. In fact, the last friend that I remember having, and I am talking about someone I could talk with about anything, was James.

I have often wondered if it was your discomfort with James being in the house that was the actual reason that you had me ask him to leave, or if it may have been your Mother. Looking back, I can see where this would have been a situation that would have given her pause, and made her uncomfortable. At any rate, being made to tell your best friend that he was no longer welcome in your home was something that, while I was willing to do for you, I think I have resented for years.

On reflection, that may have actually been the turning point in our sex life. You were already pregnant, and had a hormone soup running around in your body so it really wasn’t until after the birth that the change manifested itself in our lives. No longer could we play together sexually. I was beginning to get the feeling that any request from me was seen as perverse by you. As she grew, Becca was used as a reason to not engage in any sexual activities. Our door could never be closed it seemed. We had no privacy in our own home.

Our sex life it seems has become more repressed over the years. Movies we once enjoyed watching together were banished from the house. There was never any time for play, and on the off chance that you might want sex, I felt as if Iwere ‘on-call’ all the time. Promises of sex were constantly being made then broken. While it may not have been evident to you, it actually came to be something of a contest for me. You would say that you ‘wanted to spend time with me this evening’, and from experience I knew that it was unlikely to come to fruition, so it came to be a guessing game as to what the excuse would be this time. How many times did you ‘wear yourself out’ doing housework during the day to the point that sex was out of the question that evening? Even more frequent than that though, was the big meal that you were preparing for your darling husband. The meal you stuffed yourself on, even knowing that it would make you so sleepy you couldn’t function. Food, for you, was always a good substitute for sex.

I knew that you putting sex off to a time when you had time to prepare for it meant that it wasn’t going to happen. Even as far back as when I was working at Winston’s this had become the norm. Looking back, I must have seemed like the biggest stooge of all time to keep falling for the same gag over and over like I did. Funny, I wasn’t really falling for it. I saw through it and just sort of laughed it off, knowing that when you said we would get together this evening, that sex was certainly not in the offing for the day.

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It was about 3:30 this morning when I woke up. I reached out and laid my hand on Susan’s thigh, and after a few minutes of just enjoying the feel of her in bed with me, I started to let my hand explore her naked skin, feeling the excitement and anticipation grow within me. I continued this for 30 minutes or so before starting to kiss her gently, each finger caressed and kissed before moving on to the next one.

Susan finally started to respond with a contented sigh and a mumbled statement that I was getting her horny. Smiling to myself, I continued caressing her until she asked me to get her dildo out and get it lubed up while she got her vibrator. After she got the dildo in, I fucked her with it as she worked her clit with the vibe. It took a while, but when she came, it was intense!

She then went down on me and sucked on me for a while before I took over and finished it off while playing with her ass. She was also reaching back and twisting a nipple as I jerked off. In other words, a good time was had by all!
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I had been looking forward to an Aneros session all day. Thinking about how it was going to feel, and how my ass would move as the Aneros moved inside me. A shudder runs through me to think of it, and my ass continues to pulsate as I write this.

After I got home from work, and ate some supper I started getting ready for my Aneros session. I cleaned up, got me a couple of shots of rum, and started undressing as I unfolded a towel and put it on the bed. Turning on the TV, I found an old movie and clicked it on. I lay down and lubed up my Helix. Slowly inserting the Helix, I tried to relax and enjoy the feeling.

It wasn’t long before my ass was moving and gyrating relaxing and tightening up letting the Helix move inside of my ass. I enjoyed this for about an hour or so before pulling out the Progasm and swapping toys. It is amazing how incredibly full the Progasm makes my ass feel as I slowly ease it in.

After about 15 minutes or so, I finally finished off with a traditional orgasm through masturbation. And although it’s been said many times, many ways, a good time was had by all!

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I was 16, a high school dropout, feeling grown, with a job and a car of my own. The car was a 1972 Ford Pinto which I drove like a Carmen Ghia. The job? I was the strutting assistant manager of the neighborhood burger bar. It was the Cosmos.

The Cosmos was owned by Gordon Lackey, who lived out of state, and he depended on his manager for the day to day details being taken care of. Her name was Audra and she was hot! She was a divorcee and back then, that meant she was easy. For a 16 year old boy, that was a source of constant arousal.

To add to this, was the fact that whenever Gordon came down to check on the store, he stayed with Audra, at the house he paid for. In addition to the sexual companionship that he received from Audra, Gordon also expected her to use her garage for storage of supplies and such. It was also basically a test kitchen for them when he came down. Gordon, you see, had ideas for growing the Cosmos into something more than just a burger bar.

It was this summer that the Cosmos grew from just a burger bar into a fast serve Mexican food restaurant as well. A new location was planned and built and my responsibilities grew. I found myself at Audra’s house for planning and tasting sessions. I was spending many hours at the store making sure that the work was taken care of while the new store was being built.

As a young horn-dog, I was always willing to do more than was expected in order to spend more time near Audra. Shy to a fault, I didn’t have a girlfriend myself, and wanted to be true to the object of my lust. And Audra made it easy to lust after her. In her attempt to be sexy for Gordon, she flamed my desire with tight fitting pants, low cut blouses and wonderful perfumes. She also managed to excite me with her flirtatious movements and words I interpreted as indicating her desire for me.

The summer wore on, and my erection was occasionally relieved by masturbation and fantasy. I dreamed of what it would be like to be in bed with Audra. Not only that, accepting the fact that she was involved with Gordon, I even added him to my fantasy life. The thought of being in bed with both of them fueled the fires of my youthful fantasies as my hairless balls exploded from my touch.

Gordon was a married man, and he couldn’t stay for long periods of time without having to go back to Nashville to run his main business and take care of his wife’s needs. This summer though, he had a lot of irons in the fire and needed Audra to come to Nashville to spend some time working with him there. I was left in charge of the now 2 stores we had in operation.

With Audra’s garage being the site of many of the mixes and supplies I would need during her week away, she gave me a key to her house. I was elated. Each day, I would have to go by her house, get the spice mixes I needed to prepare the meat and sauces for the day, then take them to the store and prepare the food.

That became secondary for me as each day I managed to get there early enough to spend some time in her house. My fantasies ran wild as I went to her bedroom and checked out her drawers. I would strip down to nothing and lay in her bed teasing myself by sliding her nylon panties over my hairless balls. My prick would pulsate with excitement as I teased it to explosion. All the time hoping that she would come back early and find me jacking off in her bed.

When I found her vibrator, known back in those days as a ‘personal massager,’ I was in heaven! Knowing where this vibrator had been, I sniffed and licked it, I put some of her used panties on my face so I could get the scent of her as I masturbated.

Many times since then I have thought about Audra and that wonderful summer, and how I dreamed of being caught in her room, naked, to be chastened by her as she taught me how to make love to a woman. It has been a memory that I have savored and cherished over the years.

I moved on, never knowing the sweet punishment I deserved for going through her room and private drawers. Or the punishment I deserved for laying naked in her bed masturbating to the scent of her panties. I still await that punishment, will I ever receive it? Only time will tell.

More later::The Perv

There were four of us, all out on summer vacation from school, and we had been out all morning playing army in the woods near the school. Bored and looking for something to do, we ended up at the school playground.

Looking back, I don’t quite understand how we always ended up playing at school when we hated going there so much, but that is where we were. Up to no good, we checked the doors all around to see if we could get in, but they were all securely shut and locked. We went down the narrow stairway that led to the boiler room and checked that door too. Locked.

As boys would do, we started to think of stupid things to do, and the idea hit us to get naked and run up the steps to the playground and run back. We all thought that was a good idea, but strangely enough, no one was willing to go first.

Ray was willing to run partway up, but wouldn’t go all the way to the top. Jimmy wasn’t about to do it until someone else had. Ralph said he would do it in his shorts, but not naked.

How I got picked is a little fuzzy to me now, but it ended up that everyone was daring me to do it. I was protesting, even when they started to call me chicken. I denied being chicken of course, but then they started to dare me.

Well, that couldn’t be accepted! I stripped down, and ran halfway up the steps to prove that I wasn’t chicken, and to answer their dare. Coming back down the steps, with something of a swagger, I assured them that I wasn’t chicken. That is when they double-dog dared me to go completely to the top of the steps. Now it had progressed that I would have to go completely to the top, and stand there for a count of 5 before returning.

I weighed my options, one, I could refuse and be labeled a chicken, or two, I could go up, prove my manliness and courage. I opted for the second choice, and with a deep breath, and a second to swallow the lump in my throat, I ran up the steps as fast as I could.

It seems that this was the very time that the best looking girl in our 5th grade class would decide to go bike riding. Not only that, but that her riding would take her right by the stairs I was running up at the same time. We nearly collided as I reached the top of the steps!

There I was, in all my naked, hairless, pre-pubescent glory as Lisa stopped. We stared at one another for what seemed an eternity. Her gaze was locked with mine, then it drifted south, and a smile came across her face. Meanwhile, I was turning every shade of red imaginable. She licked her lips, and rode off on her bike.

The other boys wanted to know why it took me so long to come back down the steps, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell them. I just put my clothes back on, and never mentioned what had just transpired at the top of the steps.

Three weeks later, we were all back in school, and I was sitting two rows across from Lisa. She never mentioned our chance encounter, and I was too embarrassed to ever ask her about it. Every now and then though, I would catch her looking over at me with a smile on her lips.

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You know, it’s funny. I have enjoyed masturbating since I was 10 or so and my best friend and I would lock ourselves in his bathroom and jerk off together. Looking back, I think it must have been an everyday thing for us. It didn’t last long, he was pretty outgoing and was hanging out with girls pretty early on; while I was shy and pretty much afraid to talk to girls. For many years, it was just me and my right hand learning what felt good and trying different rhythms, experimenting in postponing orgasm.

Occasionally, I would try humping the pillow, but it seemed like I always ended up using my hand. As I got older and had a car and job, I found myself drawn to hookers. Growing up in a relatively small city, we didn’t have a big prostitute selection, and the girls I went with were what most people would call crack-whores today. They walked the streets in some of the roughest parts of town and I was really lucky to have never caught a disease, and even luckier that I never caught a bullet or was robbed.

My routine was to have a few drinks until I was a little bit buzzed, then go prowling for prostitutes. Many times we had sex in my car, but mostly they would have an apartment where they had a couple of mattresses on the floor. It was quick, normally taking longer to get undressed than to get fucked. These were $20 prostitutes and they made sure they collected up front. I always thought that being with someone, even a prostitute would beat the loneliness that seemed to consume me. I was wrong, it was no more than expensive masturbation. . .with the added benefit of being dangerous I even tried two girls but that wasn’t any better.

Really, the only good thing that I can say I ever got was a lesson in eating pussy. I must have been exceptionally drunk that night when I think of how many cocks had been in that pussy, but she showed me what I was supposed to be looking for and game me a rudimentary lesson in what to do, so I guess it was money well spent.

These days, I can barely get it up anymore and masturbating is taking a lot more work than it should but I find myself wanting to experience more and more. I think I feel I have missed out on a lot over the years and I want to make up for time lost. The one thing I know is that although I still love to masturbate, it is still lonely.

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Lather, Rinse, Repeat. The most profitable 3 words in the history of advertising. It kind of describes my love life as well. We are close, then that closeness rinses out, then we repeat.  Unfortunately, it seems that the rinse cycle takes longer each time.  As fun as lathering up can be, why is it that the rinse cycle gets all the time and attention?  Just coming out of the lather cycle, I look forward to a long and frustrating rinse cycle.

Why is it, that even though she acknowledges the fact that she enjoys sex, it is always the last thing that she makes time for? It doesn’t help for me to do things around the house, that just leaves more tv time. Oh well, after 25 years, I don’t think I am going to see much change in our future.

On the bright side, at least masturbation is an option, but like the quote below, it’s lonely.

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The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.

::George Bernard Shaw

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